A Russian is strolling down the street in Moscow and kicks a bottle laying in the street. Suddenly out of the bottle comes a genie. The Russian is stunned and the Genie says, "Hello Master, I will grant you one wish, anything that you want." The Russian begins thinking, "Well I really like drinking vodka." Finally the Russian says, "I wish to drink vodka whenever I want, so make me piss vodka." The Genie grants him his wish. When the Russian gets home he gets a glass out of the cupboard and pisses into it. He looks at the glass and it's clear. Looks like vodka. Then he smells the liquid. Smells like vodka. So he takes a tast and it is the best vodka that he has ever tasted. The Russian yells to his wife, "Natasha, Natasha, come quickly." She comes running down the hall and the Russian takes another glass out of the cupboard and pisses into it. He tells her to drink, that it is vodka. Natasha is reluctant but goes ahead and takes a sip. It is the best vodka that she has ever tasted. The two drink and party all night. The next night the Russian comes home from work and tells his wife to get two glasses out of the cupboard. He proceeds to piss in the two glasses. The result is the same, the vodka is excellent and the couple drink until the sun comes up. Finally, Friday night comes and the Russian tells his wife to grab one glass from the cupboard and we will drink vodka. She gets the glass but asks him "Boris, why do we only need one glass?" Boris raises the glass and says, "Because tonight my love, you drink from the bottle." Je par dobil dojenčka. Problem pa je bil v tem, da je ta dojenček bil malo... čuden. Ni mel ne nog, ne rok, ne trupa. Skratka, bla ga je sama glava. No, in ko je nekaj časa preteklo, so gledali skupaj fuzbal. Pa reče fantek: "Mami, mami, jaz bi tudi mel take noge!" Mama: "Bodi priden in se lepo obnašaj, morebiti ti pa začnejo poganjat!" In res. Mu zrastejo noge. Mine nekaj časa in spet gledajo tv - tokrat rokomet. In spet se oglasi: "Mami, mami, jaz bi tudi mel takšne roke!" Mama: "No, bodi priden in se lepo obnašaj. Morda ti zrastejo. Upoštevajoč, da so ti že noge, ti bodo morda še roke!" In res. Mu zrastejo roke. Ker pa je bil otrok malo čuden oz. izvanreden za videt (glava, ven pa roke in noge pač), sta ga, ko sta dobla kak obisk, zaprla raje na wc. In nekega lepega dne pride na obisk soseda. Pijejo čaj in jo kar na lepem na skret. Na vse pretege jo skušata prepričati, da mata wc pokvarjen, ampak brez uspega. Tetka hoče na skret. Pa jo pustita misleč "kaj bo, pa bo". In gre tetka na wc. Onadva pa poslušata... Mine nekaj časa, nakar se ven zasliši dretje, cviljenje, razbijanje... Pa pride tetka ven, vsa krvava in zadihana. Starša vprašata, kaj hudiča je blo. Tetka odgovori: "Ne bota verjela, kakšnega pajka sem pravkar ferderbala!" Je par dobil dojenčka. Pa bi rad natančno vedo, klko tehta. In se odločita, da greta z njim k mesarju, tam majo precizne vage. In res. Se znajdeta v mesnici, data dojenčka mesarju in mesar z njim izgine nekam nazaj. Čez nekaj cajta pride ven ves krvav. Pa ga par zmedeno vpraša: "Torej, klko vaga?" Mesar: "Kilo dvajset, brez kosti!" Kak je boljše dat dojenčka v mesoreznico? Z glavo naprej al z nogami naprej? Z nogami. Zakaj? Da vidiš, kake face dela zraven.