AGNOSTICISM: What is this shit? APATHISM: I don't give a shit. ASTROLOGY: Uranus transits. ATHEISM: I don't believe this shit. BAPTIST FUNDAMENTALISM: Shit happens because the Bible says so. BUDDHISM: If shit happens, it isn't really shit. CAPITALISM: How much will this shit cost? CARTESIANISM: I shit, therefore I am. CATHOLICISM: If shit happens, you deserve it. COMMUNISM: It's everybody's shit. CONFUCIANISM Confucius says, "Shit Happens." DADISM: Your mom knows her shit. DARWINISM: We came up from shit. DOMINICANS: Belive in shit, or we'll boil you in it. DYSLEXIANISM: Hits shapnep. GNOSTICISM: Know shit. HARE KRISHNA: Shit happens rama rama ding ding. HINDUISM: This shit has happened before. ISLAM: If shit happens, take a hostage. JEHOVAH’S WITNESS: Knock, knock, "Shit happens." JUDAISM Why does shit always happen to US? MORMONISM Shit's going to happen. Stockpile. NARCISSISM: My shit don't stink. NIHILISM: Everything is shit. NIXONISM: Shit didn't happen, and if it did, I don't know anything about it. OBJECTIVISM: Shit is Shit. PERESTROIKA We can't control shit. Let shit happen. PROTESTANTISM: Shit won't happen if I work harder. RASTAFARIANSM: Let's smoke this shit! TAOISM: Shit Happens TV-EVANGELSIM: You need our shit, but it'll cost you. YUPPIEISM: It's my shit! All mine! ZEN: What is the sound of shit happening? 7th DAY ADVENTIST: Shit happens on Saturdays.