Learn and write english

[coccinelle]

Stankaa

I was cleaning up my e-mail inbox and found some cute jokes in case anyone is interested

I could have put these in "šala dneva" but let them stay here

 

 

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even

though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little

girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher

reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically

impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".

 

The teacher asked, " What if Jonah went to hell?"

 

The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".

 

********************************************************

 

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they

were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's

work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked

what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher

paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a

beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a

minute."

 

********************************************************

 

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five

and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father

and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how

to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy

(the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."

 

********************************************************

 

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at

the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands

of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at

her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white,

Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and

make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little girl

thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come

ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

 

********************************************************

 

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to

persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how

nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's

Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.' A small

voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, She's

dead. "

 

********************************************************

 

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to

make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head,

the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the

face.." "Yes," the class said. "Then why is it that while I am standing

upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A

little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."

 

********************************************************

 

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary

school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The

nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:

 

"Take only ONE. God is watching."

 

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a

large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all

you want. God is watching the apples.

[free]

Ha ha ha ha ha ....

Cool jokes!

 

I'm intending english classes at SterLing english school!

The page I'm doing it for them: www.ns-sterling.si

where you can do the test of your knowledge of english for free. But it takes time. Cca. 45 minutes.

My level was cca. 60% but I was doing it at 3 at the morning

They said that my speaking is good, but my grammar isn't.

 

So, the teachers are OK.

I'm at the first level course.

The advanced level course is govern (leaded) by nativ english speaker amd he's cool.

I was at the advanced course at first, but the course was to difficult for me, so I went to the first level course.

 

It is nice that you renew this topic!

[Aliana]

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>Hm, mi je nek mulo iz MK ravnokar ponudu, se mi zdi kar zanimiv in dober program za učenje angleščine...mislim, da Oxfordov, baje ga uporabljajo tud  npr. na FDV v Ljubljani. Je tonski, tako da te opozarja na napake v izgovorjavi, baje ima enih 600 testov, simulirane dogodke in pogovore v raznih situacijah z različimi ljudmi, če sem prav razumu......ma, vse živo. 10 obrokov....55.000,00 sit .......vaše mnenje, plis 

 

Ponavad je problem takih programov, ki te poslusajo in se lahk pogovarjas prek mikrofona z njim, da majo ful omejen razpon za vsako besedo.. ma, ne znam se prav izrazit.. A ves, ti malo bolj po stajersko zavijes in ne cist perfect anglesko, pa bo rekel, da je narobe..

 

Ne vem kerga so ti to ponujal, ampak za enga takega, ki ga pri nas prodajajo za ziher vem, da ma to foro, pa se da moras vsakic, ko ne poves nekaj 'prav', zacet od zacetka, se ne da od tam, kjer si koncal, in pol to scasoma ful dolgcas postane...

[Behemoth]

two snakes were talking 1: "Are we poisenes?"

2:"I don't know, why do you ask?"

1:"Becouse I just bitten my lip "

 

Btw, On friday at 12.30 to 15.00 I'm going to the nationals of English. So please, pray for me that I will reach the first three places

I'ts going to add me points for signing to high school

 

Blessed be!

[Behemoth]

Thank you. I really hope I'll win something.

I've been studiing so hard...I've even studied books that are for graduation and stuff

[Behemoth]

I'm already feeling like a winner. But if you reyh the gold prize, you get a trip to london totaly free I'ts kind a worth of winnig

Thank you Thank you for existing x!x

 

Btw, tommorow I have an exam of chemistry (ogljikovodiki, radikali, aciklične spojine, aliciklične, aromatske, nafta, ozon... )

I hope I will get a 4 but a 3 is also good

 

Blessed be x!x

[Larsy]

So what should we write about in this topic?

I visited USA this summer and I liked it a lot! I stayed in Cleveland most of the time, but I also drove around with my boyfriend... we were in Washington D.C. and also visited Atlantic City- the casino paradise ...

My boyfriend has a friend in Cleveland so we stayed at his place when we were in Ohio. Those were the best 3 weeks of my life! And I am proud to say that out loud (ups... write down)! I can`t wait to go back there again.......

That is my goal and I wish to achieve it!

Here`s a photo from Atlantic City........ ah.... paradise.....

Love U all!

[free]

----

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>two snakes were talking 1: "Are we poisenes?"

2:"I don't know, why do you ask?"

1:"Becouse I just bitten my lip "

 

Btw, On friday at 12.30 to 15.00 I'm going to the nationals of English. So please, pray for me that I will reach the first three places

I'ts going to add me points for signing to high school

 

Blessed be!

[free]

Cool!

What about now? Is there any snow in Atlantic City?

I've heard that Boston have a lot of snow and temperature is about - 30

 

Global warming and global weather changing is actually happening! isn't it?

 

You can write whatever you like, but please in english!

------

So what should we write about in this topic?

I visited USA this summer and I liked it a lot! I stayed in Cleveland most of the time, but I also drove around with my boyfriend... we were in Washington D.C. and also visited Atlantic City- the casino paradise  ...

My boyfriend has a friend in Cleveland so we stayed at his place when we were in Ohio. Those were the best 3 weeks of my life! And I am proud to say that out loud (ups... write down)! I can`t wait to go back there again.......

That is my goal and I wish to achieve it!

Here`s a photo from Atlantic City........ ah.... paradise.....

Love U all!

[rdeča hrenovka]

..Yes, global warming is relly happening and weather is so unpredictable...

 

Well, we are destroying :xx!: our beautiful and unique mother earth...and she does NOT deserve it!! We have gone now so far with this destruction, and it relly is a question of time when this will end...or it is not going to end at all..hm..

[zirosi]

All other instances of the truthmaker principle are likewise equivalent, given the redundancy biconditionals, to biconditionals not about truth but about the existential grounding of all manner of other things: the flying of pigs, or what-have-you. The concise slogan that every truth has a truthmaker is equivalent, given the redundancy biconditionals, to this infinite bundle of biconditionals that are not at all about truth. So it too is not at all about truth.

 

 

 

enjoy!

[coccinelle]

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>Ha ha ha ha ha ....    

Cool jokes!

 

I'm intending I bet you mean attending english classes  at SterLing english school! 

The page I'm doing it for them: www.ns-sterling.si

where you can do the test of your knowledge of english for free. But it takes time. Cca. 45 minutes.

My level was cca. 60%    but I was doing it at 3 at the morning  it is always in the morning (anyway, not THAT bad for 3a.m).They said that my speaking is good, but my grammar isn't. so I figure

 

So, the teachers are OK.

I'm at the first level course.

The advanced level course is governed (leaded) by native english speaker amd he's cool.

I was at the advanced course at first, but the course was too difficult for me, so I went to the first level course.

 

It is nice that you renew (I'd say, have renewed) this topic!   

Cool

Hope you still want to be corrected

 

 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>Hmm, I would need some help at (with?) translating from English to Slovene.... (no, I don`t have a dictionary    )

So... what is the Slovenian word for (these are all different animal species):

- coati                     

- meerkats               

- Patagonian mara

- bandicoot

 

Thanks in advance   

Tough ones!

Don't think I can be of much help

coati... mislim, da se reče kar koati (kosmata živalca iz tropskega gozda)

meerkat... surikata (sorodnik munga, živi v skupinah v afriški savani)

Patagonian mara... ne bi vedela (vrsta glodalca iz južne Amerike)

bandicoot... ne bi vedela (mislim, da je oznaka za manjše vrečarje iz Avstralije)

 

 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>Btw, On friday at 12.30 to 15.00 I'm going to the nationals of English. So please, pray for me that I will reach the first three places

I'ts going to add me points for signing to high school

 

Blessed be!

Good luck... I believe you'll do well

 

 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>So what should we write about in this topic?

I visited USA this summer and I liked it a lot! I stayed in Cleveland most of the time, but I also drove around with my boyfriend... we were in Washington D.C. and also visited Atlantic City- the casino paradise  ...

My boyfriend has a friend in Cleveland so we stayed at his place when we were in Ohio. Those were the best 3 weeks of my life! And I am proud to say that out loud (ups... write down)! I can`t wait to go back there again.......

That is my goal and I wish to achieve it!

Here`s a photo from Atlantic City........ ah.... paradise.....

Love U all!

Cool

 

 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>even in this sentence is one quite obvious stupid mistake i bet you don't know which is it  

I can see more than one mistake in this sentence

[cosma]

Even in this sentence, there is one quite obvious, stupid mistake. I bet you don't know what it is.

 

 

Coccinele, sedi, 5 pa mama naj pride v šolo

[Behemoth]

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>Honey, grab your dick into your right hand and put your left hand into your ass hole, and it will enlight you right into the cosmic heaven.

Good one Very nice language

Oh Bobnar you written "i" instead of "I"

 

Btw, thanks for all your support

I'll do well, just for you guys

[free]

That probably the truth is!

But still, at the same time the factory released the gas yesterday.

I think you're wright, but I do not understand or. connect this 2 situations!?

If we all could think positively, does the factory would still release the gases?

-------

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>All other instances of the truthmaker principle are likewise equivalent, given the redundancy biconditionals, to biconditionals not about truth but about the existential grounding of all manner of other things: the flying of pigs, or what-have-you. The concise slogan that every truth has a truthmaker is equivalent, given the redundancy biconditionals, to this infinite bundle of biconditionals that are not at all about truth. So it too is not at all about truth.

enjoy!

[free]

Of course! It would be nice. Thanks!

--------

Cool

Hope you still want to be corrected

Tough ones!

[free]

I was at my friend new office and I visited my other client at her office. They have nice offices. Better than my apartment.

But still, the second one made me laugh

Then I went to the clothing shop in Stara Ljubljana to shorten my jeans.

After that I went to the post office to pay check for my english lessons

And now I'm here, trying not to make my self stupid

[santos]

Scusa, se cualcuno che abla espaniol ?!

[santos]

Por mi bueno !

Parlo anche l'italiano. Waljo, che passa ?

[Larsy]

Coccinelle, thanks!

Santos, I though that we speak english in this topic? Anyway, I can speak french too- Je parle un petit peu de francais aussi.... but enough for now.

Free, I think that there isn`t any snow in Atlantic City now, but I`m not sure, because I couldn`t find any web cams on the internet for exactly A.C. So I can`t answer your question, but I will try and dig out some information. I know that they have tons of snow in Cleveland though! Great!

Take care you all!!

[free]

You don't have to do it for me, because I don't intendto go there.

I was just worried a litle.

-------

Coccinelle, thanks! 

Santos, I though that we speak english in this topic?    Anyway, I can speak french too- Je parle un petit peu de francais aussi.... but enough for now. 

Free, I think that there isn`t any snow in Atlantic City now, but I`m not sure, because I couldn`t find any web cams on the internet for exactly A.C.  So I can`t answer your question, but I will try and dig out some information. I know that they have tons of snow in Cleveland though! Great! 

Take care you all!! 

[free]

Yo man, you can open new topic in spanish language!

But in this one, certainly, it would be better to write just in english!

---------

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>Scusa, se cualcuno che abla espaniol ?!  

[santos]

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>Nada, aspetto mio amor che e andato a pallestra, e poi....

Waljo, che passa sulla tua parte?

 

 

E poi...che se fa...scopata !?

Qua da le mie parti...de nada...aspeto, che mi chiama una polastrela...per spenachiarla...

[santos]

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>Yo man, you can open new topic in spanish language!

But in this one, certainly, it would be better to write just in english!

---------

 

Free,

o capito...vado a fare i cazzi miei...!

[coccinelle]

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>Coccinele, sedi, 5 pa mama naj pride v šolo 

my mom spent most of her active life at school, so... no problems there

 

 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>raise your hand before speaking you smartass

I'll take this as a compliment this time

 

 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>I was at my friend new office...

...And now I'm here, trying not to make my self stupid       

Actually, I don't think you've made a fool of yourself with this one, just one thing... when you talk about something that someone posesses or owns (a new office of your friend in this case), you use posessive (zaimek), which you make by adding (in most cases) an apostrophe (') and "s"; so you would say "my friend's new office"

 

 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>Coccinelle, thanks! 

Santos, I though that we speak english in this topic?    Anyway, I can speak french too- Je parle un petit peu de francais aussi.... but enough for now. 

Free, I think that there isn`t any snow in Atlantic City now, but I`m not sure, because I couldn`t find any web cams on the internet for exactly A.C.  So I can`t answer your question, but I will try and dig out some information. I know that they have tons of snow in Cleveland though! Great! 

Take care you all!! 

Anytime

Tu parles encore francais? J'ai peur que j'ai oublie presque tout