Pearly Gates A man appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asked. "Well, I can think of one thing," the man offered. "Once, on a trip to the Black Hills in South Dakota , I came upon a gang of bikers who werethreatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen, so I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed biker and smacked him in his face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground. I yelled, "Now, back off orI'll kick the #@!$% #@! out of all of you!" St. Peter was impressed, "When did this happen?" "Just a couple minutes ago..."